Self Help Recovery. ComĀ©

Featuring the Accelerated Recovery Process..

header photo

PHASE I

Paradoxical..

Before you begin with the Accelerated Recovery Process program you need to consider the number one principal involved with the success of the work. And that is the ultimate truth of the reality of the process is paradoxical ...meaning that the truth is completely contrary to common logic. 

Chances are your inner critic will be very judgmental with the principles discussed here and probably critical of the potential results..

If you follow your Inner Critic you will stay where you are permanently...It is suggested that you pay attention to your inner critic BUT  ignore the messages... we will explore the inner critic later in PHASE III...

One other point...the other major consideration...

You cannot make any real permanent changes with your mind, your intellect...

Until...

you Observe through your Consciousness...

Changes that need our attention will first be  discovered and directed from our

CONSCIOUSNESS...

We will explain...

Regarding our feelings..

We cannot control or fix them through our thinking mind or even medications...This paradox will be explained and explored in PHASE II ( Please don't jump to PHASE II without completing PHASE I  ).

Probably your  Inner Critic is having a field day right now....

 

Please "let Go" ..and continue...

Getting Started...

FIRST ASSIGNMENT

HOW THIS SITE WILL BECOME ( IS ) AN EXTREME INTERACTIVE SITE...

"The COMMENTS AND VIEWS EXPRESSED HERE WILL GENERATE MANY "

AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS AND WILL GENERATE MANY FEELINGS..."

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

PLEASE READ ON...

The first assignment is to SIMPLY OBSERVE WITH YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS

( PAY ATTENTION TO... )

YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR FEELINGS AS YOU READ ....

THIS IS KEY TO YOUR ABILITY TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF HEALING AND OF REAL CHANGE..

 

Caution...

 

If you have experience with recovery you may be ok with basic observation of your thoughts and feelings.

However if you are new to this procedure and if your thoughts and feelings are overwhelming you need to consult with a Licensed Therapist Immediately...

 

Remember...

If they

( Negative Inner Voices & Emotional Feelings)

are that overwhelming

That is exactly what the Goal of Recovery is all about...ending their abuse once and for all !!!

 

"Hang in there..."

 

MAJOR POINT ONE... If you are "attacked" by several negative, critical judgmental inner dialog about what you are reading..

IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO SIMPLY BE AWARE OF THIS NEGATIVE TALK AND CONTINUE TO READ... If the " attack" is very strong then maybe you should take a break, but be sure to come back..you will eventually discover how and why this "attack" occurred and how to effectively deal with it...But by no means let " it" win...return later..

HERE YOU NEED TO PRACTICE THE ART OF TRUST. This negative self talk is a major player in our struggle to be free from it, it will stop us from doing what we want to do,it will direct us away from what we really want, it will make us procrastinate causing additional severe self abuse, it will lie to us..An excellent resource for a Complete understanding of the origin of the critical inner voice  can be found by the book "VOICE THERAPY" BY Dr.Robert Firestone and or Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice by Dr.Firestone's daughter,Dr.Lisa Firestone at www.psychalive.org

For now, DON'T LET THE SELF CRITICAL TALK STOP YOU FROM STUDYING THIS MATERIAL AND TRY SOME OF THE SUGGESTED EXERCISES...

We will also explore how and why those "Automatic" follow up negative thoughts are originated..and how to FREE yourself from the influence of them..

We will also be supplying countless reference sources to prove beyond any doubt that the material you will learn on this site and with the companion books are accurate AND miraculous!!!

MAJOR POINT NUMBER TWO...

From time to time as you read you may FEEL some emotions surfacing..

  • AGAIN YOU ARE RECOMMENDED TO JUST BE THERE WITH YOUR FEELINGS OBSERVING THEM, EXPERIENCING THEM THE BEST WAY YOU CAN..
  • Accept Your Feelings..Don't let the negative ,critical ,judgmental SELF TALK interfere ..
  • AND EVEN IF YOU WANT TO SHED A TEAR OR TWO ....IT IS OK !!!!..Let it go...You will have "Tons" of tears to let go over the next SEVERAL YEARS.... it is OK !!!!
  • IF YOU GET ANGRY..FIND A PLASTIC BAT OR SOMETHING ELSE ( SAFE) AND BANG A LARGE STUFFED PILLOW BE CAREFUL.....REMEMBER YOUR ANGER IS OK TOO!!!! REMEMBER REPRESSED ANGER IS A MAJOR CAUSE OF DEPRESSION..Just Don't dump the anger onto ANYBODY ..Don't let it get you into any trouble...Don't Let it HARM YOU !!!

IF YOU GET A ZAP OF ANXIETY..TRY TO JUST SIT BACK AND BE WITH IT DON'T TRY TO CHASE IT AWAY ...

BREATHE DEEPLY WHERE YOU FEEL THE ANXIETY ...

SO TO RECAP.. THE IMMEDIATE ASSIGNMENT THAT WILL ALSO MAKE THIS SITE IMMEDIATELY VERY, VERY INTERACTIVE IS BY OBSERVING AND BEING WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ...

BUT DON'T RUN AWAY FROM HERE..NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT...

WHEN YOU BEGIN TO ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS YOU BEGIN TO ACCEPT YOUR SELF UNCONDITIONALLY..

ONCE AND FOR ALL MAKE A COMMITMENT TO END THE ABUSE !!!!

THIS COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF A MOST INCREDIBLE JOURNEY OF YOUR LIFE...

A place to start

First you need to Re-Educate Yourself with safe & Effective Methods to Help you Heal Your Emotional Trauma and separate Consciously from the Negative Self Talk that is a major influence on your dysfunctional behaviors... The effective methods can be found here, on this site.

Following are different points to consider ...

FOLLOWING ARE SOME PRELIMINARY POINTS TO CONSIDER TO BEGIN AND MOVE FORWARD INTO ADVANCED STAGES OF YOUR RECOVERY...

Depending upon "Where you are at" will determine how the methods of the ACCELERATED RECOVERY PROCESS ™ could be applied. Of Course, you need to read,study and practice the principles that are taught here and you will need to read additional material validating the principles . This site should be considered just the "outline" of the program. Additional reading material must be completed to help you make the paradigm switch. The Ultimate Truth is so paradoxical in nature it will take a great deal of convincing your self to adopt this process. You also need to be patient with your self. And most important, to just read and understand the material does not cure anything. This entire process is all INTERACTIVE ! Besides the exercises you practice by your self you also need to work with a Therapist, join one, two or even three weekly support groups, go to workshops that demonstrate the principles covered here, go to weekend retreats and save up and go to a 7-8 day intensive.

[*Graphic- FACE© copyright by Artist Katie Maree of Australia . Reprinted with permission.Gallery E-MAIL

You need to make an unconditional commitment to yourself to take whatever steps you need to take to STOP THE ABUSE. The self inflicted abuse and the unconscious act of attracting your self to others that will abuse you. The behaviors that you are aware of that are having a negative effect on the quality of your life will eventually diminish and will be history once you go through the process.

Typical Mainstream Therapies..

Granted there are many different approaches to therapy out there. I know , I tried just about all of them... And Yes I too thought that I found the right one along time ago..only to find out it was the equivalent of snake oil. Many therapists will tell you what you want to here..that it is not necessary to deal with the pain ...of feeling the feelings...Many of them will use what is commonly known as INTROSPECTION..which is just creating a positive thought to generate an opposite feeling of relief to the pain...many popular GURUS use nothing but common sense and will power, this will not work either, maybe it will give an "illusion" but will not work! These are all COPING techniques and will not make PERMANENT changes. In June 2005 Dr.Janov published an E-Book called Grand Delusions establishing why most mainstream therapies are not what they are cracked up to be, the entire book can be reviewed here.

The applications that are outlined here EFFECTIVELY HEAL AND CURE SPECIFIC emotional trauma.

YOUR PAST EMOTIONAL TRAUMA THAT NEEDS ATTENTION ARE REFLECTED IN WHAT YOU ARE FEELING FROM DAY TO DAY...

As a matter of fact WHEN YOU UTILIZE THE METHODS TAUGHT HERE INCREDIBLE INSIGHTS WILL COME UP FROM YOUR HEART CENTER IN THE FORM OF A FEELING MEMORY AS TO THE ORIGIN OF THE TRAUMA..AND IN MOST CASES YOU WILL THEN BE ALLOWED TO GRIEVE ONCE AND FOR ALL THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE TRAUMA..These memories coming to you as insights through your heart feeling center are Core Truths. Meaning they are coming from ground zero of your soul, not manufactured from the mind or suggested by any misleading analysis that may include illusions to fabricate a scenario. These insights are the Real Core Issues and when they come up it is strongly recommended that you stay there and allow your self to go as deep and as long as possible into process, most commonly full of grieving..The key at this specific place is to disregard ANY thoughts that may be attempting to interrupt the process and point number two is stay with the process until you feel itself burn itself out naturally...

One of the very first things that a COMPETENT therapist will do is to help you get in touch with, accept and feel your feelings.. AS A MATTER OF FACT YOU CANNOT REALLY BEGIN TO MOVE INTO THE COGNITIVE PART OF THE WORK UNTIL YOU…PROCESS SOME OF THE FEELINGS..

"THE PROCESSES THAT REALLY WORK ARE THE ONES THAT ARE CONTRARY TO WHAT IS NORMALLY ACCEPTED. WHAT REALLY WORKS IS AGAINST SOME VERY COMMON BELIEF SYSTEMS THAT ARE SUPPORTED BY OUTDATED CULTURAL, TRADITIONAL AND RELIGIOUS THEOLOGIES.."

 

FOR THE "ROOKIE

If you are new to recovery this site will be an excellent resource as a guide to help you.

Just a bit of wisdom, a word of advice....the work that is required to really help you is a very uncomfortable at first as mentioned a few times throughout this site. It is easy to "run away" from the work and try to find an easier solution. That is what most of do and we waste a lot of time. I came close to discovering the truth back in 1972 when I was in my early 20's , but unfortunately walked away and continued my very dysfunctional almost self destructing behaviors. If you are a younger person, please give your self the benefit of a doubt and stay with the recovery now so that you can heal your self at a younger age and really enjoy the rest of your life .

All of us in our advanced stages of our recovery have been there, discovered the right path but walked away. We all wasted years and years of searching for that easier answer. It's not there! To follow the processes outlined here you need to TRUST the processes and work with them for a period of time. Several " validations" of the concepts are included here for a specific reason. To help convince you and everyone who visits the site ,because the concepts are so different that what is normally taught. If you also pay attention to all " normal results", they are generally productive for a short period of time. Then you will probably also come to the same conclusion that the typical easy way out doesn't really work. As I shared I have studied,investigated Therapies for over 30 years and finally started the real transformation to healing in my recovery over 14 years. The only reason it has been this long is that I wasted a lot of time with the wrong therapies, with the wrong therapists and when I found the right approach I did not have adequate support and guidance to stay with the program. This is what we are attempting to provide here..GUIDANCE AND SUPPORT.. Chances are your process can ACCELERATE dramatically if you FOCUS in the RIGHT DIRECTION from the start !! It is my contention that if an average person with a "normal" amount of trauma to process, should take about 4 to 6 years. Contrary to some examples even of the right approaches it is not as simple of "dabbling" in the work...the process needs a lot of time, persistence and correct application to be effective...

You need to "explore" and educate yourself about some NEW truths..you will need to do a lot of "Homework".

One alternative to excessive reading and web surfing is learning by video tapes. One of the best ever video tape series on recovery is by a psychologist by the name of John Bradshaw. He is my mentor, he saved my life. In the mid to late 80's I caught a glimpse of Mr. Bradshaw on PBS with his series called "Bradshaw On: The Family..which explained the influence on the emotional development in children based on the influences of ignorant dysfunctional parenting..

In September 1990 PBS aired a new series by MR. Bradshaw called "HOMECOMING" ...this will someday be recognized as one of the most important contributions to mankind..The series is about 12 hours long. In addition to being extremely educational, Mr. Bradshaw demonstrates incredible EXERCISES that will help you begin the process of accepting and feeling your feelings..to get in touch with what will become known as your Inner Child...This will be explained later...a copy of the tapes can be ordered on line through John Bradshaw's   site. If you aren’t able to purchase the set check with your local Library.

I personally went over and over the tapes for several months to learn and allow myself to feel what I haven't felt in many years...my feelings. This is the bais, the Foundation of the entire process...

You know the right approach is RIGHT when it hit's home..Home being in your Heart & Soul. And that is exactly what you feel when you begin in the right direction...

The book called Homecoming is also available for information and reviews click here

 

SUPPORT GROUPS...

Support Groups are extremely important for many reasons . First of all you will realize that in fact you are not " Alone"...and also you will be able to SHARE your experiences and feelings without being ridiculed, judged or Criticized ...

You must be sure that the group ABSOLUTELY does not allow crosstalk or feedback such as CODA ,ACOA AND OTHER 12 step groups. We'll also discuss support groups in greater detail later..Here I will probably get a lot of feedback but that's ok. The 12 steps themselves are good for beginners..to make some minor changes, but the 12 steps will not Heal and will not make permanent cognitive changes.

Support Groups are a must... especially when you are in the midst of a major crises and you need to let it all out... and one final note... Just talking about what is on your mind helps a little, what really Helps is to allow your self feel the feelings that the sharing is bringing up to your conscious awareness...many times as we sat in our group circle sharing not only did what I shared brought up many tears, but also LISTENING to others share brought up a ton of tears...I did not care that I was in front of others ...I just let it all come out...and that is extremely cleansing and builds self esteem...

Three Main National Support Groups are listed here, check them out they probably have a local chapter convenient to you.. Some local Churches allow support Groups to meet at their facilities, so just call to find out if your local Church hosts a group. I would also invite everyone to share in the form of a support group at this site's forum (wILL BE COMING BACK SOON ). Following are the links to the support groups..

Al Anon          ACOA          CODA

FOR THE EXPERIENCED

First if you have been doing primarily Cognitive Work you need to add Deep Feeling work to move forward... On the Contrary if you have been doing feeling work but are still fighting the crazies in the head then you need to move into advanced cognitive work...please see Phase III

For those of you who have a minimum amount of experience in the feeling work and have noticed some improvement but still back to what appears to be square one the following are some suggestions...

GETTING UNSTUCK

I had progressed so far with my initial "feeling work" but somehow got "stuck", blocked..Fortunately I did not listen to my Inner negative talk that was saying "It's not working".I did a reality check and was capable of seeing that in fact I was feeling better, there just seemed to be an awful lot to process.

Some mysterious wonderful way I was lead to the possibilities and opportunities available with going to an " Intensive". I subscribed to a recovery magazine and it had a story about a mainstream psychologist that heard about the intensives. She investigated and decided to participate herself. She made astounding progress in her own recovery and soon thereafter her children go...even though she recognized that her own kids had some unfinished business with "Mom"..Following the experience they all shared a tremendous release and re connection for their love and respect for each other. Ironically at a support group meeting a few weeks later that used to begin meetings by showing educational videos,John Bradshaw mentioned and recommended this same Intensive. It was as if I "got the Message"..and investigated the organization and went. We will talk further about Intensives on the Intensive Page.

If you have had some recovery work behind you and have opened the doors to your feelings to a certain degree, then you may want to go beyond " THAT POINT "where you have stopped your self before..

YOU NEED TO Go THAT " EXTRA MILE"...

Yes

it is scary,

but when you go there you will find out it is OK!

THAT'S WHERE THE HEALING BEGINS...

You can begin by going to a weekend intensive or two and then I would strongly recommend the investment into a 7 or 8 day INTENSIVE ....where you spend a week devoted to processing a great deal of grief and anger work..

With professional guidance along with the support of a large group..nothing can compare with the results...You will learn how to go beyond the point that you thought you were capable before! The experience will catapult you out of your “victim stage” into a very “ASSERTIVE STAGE” of your recovery.. It is NOT as if you get addicted to " feeling". The truth of the matter is ...and this will be repeated frequently...there is a lot to process and we can only process a certain degree at any given moment. One other remarkable part of the story is that you will then pursue your feelings in order to process and clear more....

"NOW YOU HAVE THE SNOWBALL GOING UPHILL !" CBARBAROW2005

This set me up for one of my biggest achievements of stopping smoking COLD TURKEY, I also applied what I learned and after stopping smoking instead of gaining weight I lost 25 lb..by applying the principles to my food addiction..This will be discussed in detail later when we get to addictions.

INTENSIVES are appropriate ONLY WHEN YOU ARE READY ! I recall it was a very big step and it took time for me to make the final decision and I also did a pretty good investigation before I participated… Eventhough it wiped me out financially IT WAS THE BEST DECISION I MADE…

INTENSIVES WILL BE DISCUSSED IN GREATER DETAIL ON THE INTENSIVES PAGE.

TURNING IT UP YET ANOTHER NOTCH…

The primary focus on all of the feeling work up to this time has been focused on two dominant feelings. Grief and Anger.Based on my experiences and observations the INTENSIVES out in the field use different approaches to deal with the feelings and thought patterns that promote shame, anxiety and fear.Following the most common approaches dealing with illusion exercises is not too effective.

Once again I turned to my inner guide and was directed back to the good book store and as I browsed the shelves one book stood out called EMOTIONAL CLEARING by John Ruskan. Make a long story short ,as I read Mr.Ruskan’s theory that you need to also feel these other feelings in order to integrate ( not quoted word for word ) I got one of those incredible mild electric shocks inside of me as if my soul was telling me “you found it”.. The process was identical to the process I experienced with integrating my shame..so I knew it had possibilities.

Mr. Ruskan developed and copyrighted a process he calls INTEGRATIVE PROCESSING that we will preview later..

This work helped me completely integrate a major phobia..that I will explain in detail later...see End of a Phobia The other MAJOR discovery was NOT to deal with the TRIGGER first, but integrate and process the FEELINGS first. Then you can deal with the situation ( trigger ) effectively.. THEN IT IS ALL 100% GONE!!This too we will explore in greater detail later.

So in a nutshell for the Experienced. You need to go further and deeper with your feeling work..you are on the right track..but just go that extra mile..Consider participating in an Intensive...and expand your feeling work to other areas...

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN…

Of course the other part of the whole story that you need to be aware of as you move forward towards recovery is the battle inside our thought process. This will be explained in great detail later in Phase III.It would be a good idea in the meantime not to pay attention to any negative thoughts that are overly critical or judgmental thoughts about what you are reading or trying to do for your self.

Many people who go so far in there therapy quit prematurely as a result of the constant inner dialog that controls our decisions and behaviors. Unfortunately we believe our self all the time when a great deal of the time lots of chitter chatter in our mind is wrong. We really begin to grow and move forward when we become aware of this, challenge it and most of the time ignore it..Once the truth is uncovered you will be able to stop the negative influence on your life and enjoy a quiet peaceful serenity within…

HERE AND NOW APPROACH

Once everyone fully develops all of the skills in all Phases of this program, then you just go on with your daily life and you will be automatically attracted to people,places and events that will bring up to your consciousness the emotions that need to be processed and the negative introjects that need to be separated from , stop reacting to and go on with your life . To live addiction free, take care of all your needs and your family's needs, protect and re-enforce your boundaries . And finally since you will have healed you will not "intrude" on anyone else.

Could you imagine what kind of a world it would be if everyone was at piece with themselves?

Please note that each Phase of The Accelerated Recovery Process is in a numeric order but will not be applied in any specific order. Each principle will be applied spontaneously as needed.

Phase I explains what consciousness really is an how it is applied to the process

 

 

 

CONSCIOUSNESS